Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child (A-Team)

Templeton "Faceman" Peck straightened his jacket as he walked up the stairs to the VA. He had just gotten back from a mission with B.A. and Hannibal only to have a second one waiting for them. He was sent to break Murdock out of the VA for air support on their latest assignment.

He smiled at the Nurse behind the desk. "Good Afternoon mam, Could I speak to Mr. Murdock? He's my client you see, and I'm his Lawyer"

The nurse glared at him hatefully, and was quickly joined by every other staff member in the room. "You are not his lawyer, and you are not getting in to see him, you dirty bastard," she said, wrinkling her nose in distaste. The other nurses all sneered at him and went on about their business without giving the Faceman a second glance.

Face immediately knew something was up. Something had to be if all the women in the room were giving him the evil eye and already on to his disguise. "Why not? Is something wrong with Murdock?" He asked, a slight edge of panic to his voice. "Can I see him?"

"No!" the head nurse exclaimed, slamming her hand down on the table. "You are not seeing him! It's your fault he's like this! You and your little friends! You're not having anything to do with him, now or ever again! Jerk."

"What's wrong with him?" Face pressed, the worry evident in his voice "Is he okay? I want to see him, I don't- What did I do? Last time I saw him he was alright! The man's my best friend; why would I want to hurt him?!"

"Well," she replied, looking increasingly irritated, "I guess I can at least let you see the damage you've done."

She walked Face down the hall to Mudock's room. Some of the other nurses grumbled and whispered amongst themselves as Face and the head nurse went by, obviously questioning her judgment in letting face see their favorite patient. The lights in the room were dimmed, and all of the electronics and toys that were usually causing a racket in the room were silent. The bed was pushed into the far corner of the room, and Howlin' Mad was curled into the fetal position right in the middle of it, one arm extended out from under the stark white covers with an IV connected to it.

The head nurse let Face look through the small window, but made no move to unlock the door.
"He stopped taking his medications for a week and hid all his pills, then he took them all at once; we had to have him rushed to the hospital to have his stomach pumped. I rode with him in the ambulance. I asked him why he did it, and he said 'The Colonel told me he didn't need me. They don't want me anymore.' "

Face looked horrified. "It was only one mission!" He whispered in horror. "We- we just didn't need any air support, and it was just a town away. Why- why would he think we didn't want him anymore..." He looked at the nurse, his eyes pleading. "C-can I talk to him? Please, just for a minute?"

Though she was determined not to fall for his tricks this time, the genuine emotions in Faceman's eyes swayed her resolve and she nodded. Wordlessly, she unlocked the door and let him into Murdock's room, shutting it behind him. She didn't bother to lock it, or even wait for him to leave. She hadn't the slightest idea how long Face would want to stay, and she would be just down the hall if she was needed.

Murdock was fully conscious but stared blankly at the wall, having lost all his will to live. He was convinced that the A-Team didn't need him anymore, and he couldn't imagine life without them. His mind couldn't even handle the thought that Face, his best friend, didn't want him anymore; every time his thoughts strayed in that direction a searing pain shot through his skull, causing him to whimper softly, as a warning that that train of thought might truly send him over the deep end for good.

Face crossed the room in a few swift strides and crouched down by the bed at Murdock's head. "Hey H.M., How you doing buddy? You-" Face took a deep breath to hold back the tears that felt like they were going to explode from him at any minute. "You feeling okay?"

Murdock continued to stare blankly at the wall, not even acknowledging Face's presence; he was fairly certain that he was hallucinating, anyway. After all, why would Face come to visit him when- His entire body stiffened suddenly with pain and he let out a soft, pitiful whimper.

Murdock's wimper cut through Face like a knife. He reached out and firmly took Murdock's hand between both of his own. "Hey, I'm here H.M.. It's okay; we didn't leave you. Please speak to me, H.M." he pleaded gently, his worry and concern clear on his face.

Templeton Arthur Peck, Faceman, the man of many masks, was defenseless against his emotions when it came to this one person.

Murdock didn't turn his head at all, but his eyes drifted slowly to look at Face's hands, holding his. Tears welled up in his eyes, sliding silently across the bridge of his nose and soaking into the sheets; he closed them, but the tears still flowed. His mind was full of the things he wanted to say to Face, things like He said you didn't need me, I was so lonely or I can't live without you, but he just couldn't seem to get his lips to cooperate. So, instead, he cried.

Silently, unable to even look at his best friend for the pain that it caused him, he cried.

"oh god" Face could feel his tears forcing their way to his eyes. "Murdock, H.M., Please don't cry. I'm here, please don't cry" He reached out and pet Murdock's head, trying to soothe the pilot. "I'm here, I'm here" he sniffled pathetically.

Murdock clenched his eyes shut and covered his ears, trying to shut Face's presence out of his mind and failing. Tears came hard and fast, wracking the pilot's body with sobs; it was as if Face's voice had opened a flood gate. "He said you didn't need me! He said... He said you didn't need me! You're all I have! I can't live without you! He said you didn't need me!" he said brokenly, between sobs.

"He only ment for the mission!" Face tried to soothe him. "We would never leave you- I Could never leave you H.M., I love you, you know that!"

"But he said... he said you didn't need me!" he sobbed, burying his face in the blankets and shuddering weakly. "I can't live if I can't fly. I can't live without you," he whispered brokenly.

"He only meant for that one mission; he never said we wouldn't get you the next time," Face replied. "Please don't cry, H.M.. I would never leave you alone"

Howlin' Mad didn't reply, just hid his face deeper in the plain white blankets and cried.

~~~~
After a few minutes of silent sobbing, the pilot finally got himself under control again. He disentangled his head from his blanket and resumed his staring at the wall, trying to ignore Face. Even still, he couldn't help but shoot glances over his shoulder to see what the conman was doing.

When he turned his head to look at Face, his cheeks were tearstained, his eyes red and bloodshot and his hair was tangled and disheveled. He also had dark, unhealthy-looking circles under his eyes and was noticeably thinner, though it had only been a few days since the Faceman had seen him.

Face was still holding back his tears. Everytime Murdock looked at him, he mustered up a pained smile, trying to tell Murdock that it was okay with out using words. He was afraid that he would make him cry again if he spoke.

He turned back to face the wall and curled himself into a ball with the blanket wrapped around him, trying not to cause a kink in the IV. When he got into a position that made him feel safe, he steeled himself and spoke; his voice was weak and strained. "I was so scared, Face. I was absolutely terrified."

"You don't have to be anymore" Face stated softly. "I'm here, and I'll stay as long as you like, till they kick me out"

"Really, Facey?" he sniffled. "But... didn't you come to get me for a mission? Hannibal will be mad if you don't show." He knew it was true, and he knew that Face wouldn't disobey an order from the Colonel, so he wasn't expecting Face to really stay. He wondered if they were going to be able to do the mission without him. Well, the last mission went fine without me... Guess I'm just obsolete...

"Its okay, I wouldn't leave you like this. And if Hannibal has a problem, he can go fuck himself." Face stated. "You need me more than the mission does."

Murdock turned slightly to look at the conman, obviously surprised. "You r-really mean that, Faceman?" he asked, disbelieving. "You'd really skip out on a mission for me?"

"I would never leave you when you need me" Face replied earnestly.